When I first became a transplant patient, someone pointed out that one of the hardest things was going to be dealing with the deaths of other transplant patients. The truth is that we don’t always live as long as the “regular” population, especially those of us who are transplanted at younger ages. Two weeks ago, my friend Ali died in her sleep. She was a 24-year-old woman with a heart transplant (and so much more). She was strong; she helped me through my early days as a baby transplant patient. She wrote a book by age 23 about overcoming her struggles throughout her life and advocated so much for organ donation. She was intelligent, hilarious, and kind. Rest In Peace, Ali Neff. ♥️

And, you know, I see life and death around me often— it’s a regular part of my job. Some people are just living to die, others are dying to live. I see a reckless 30-something-year-old woman purposefully overdosing on cocaine just to see what it feels like, just this one time. Next to her, there’s a patient, a former marathon runner, who has beat cancer twice, and he can’t breathe that well right now. I am about to tell him that the cancer is back. For a third time. In his lungs.

I’m not here to judge who deserves to live and who doesn’t. Never, ever. I’m not here to question why some terrible things happen to good people, or vice versa.

Life is life. Some of us are given long, beautiful ones. Some of us are given short, awful ones. Sometimes life is long and burdensome or even troubling … who knows.

One thing is for sure: life is what you make of it. Life is how you react to everything that happens to you. Life is a special gift if you want it to be. In my opinion, it is extraordinary. We do our best to live a dignified life and leave behind what we can, if we can. So simple, yet so complex.